::testing. testing. one. two. three.:: Is this thing on? Hu…hel…looo…Am I doing this right?
I haven’t done this in a minute. Like over a year…life, man.
Seriously though, it’s been awhile. I went back to work. Both my kids are now at the homework stage of schooling. I’ve been the PTO President at their elementary school (that was just…torture). There just hasn’t been time. Or the desire to blog if I’m being totally honest. My commute alone is at least an hour EACH way then I come home to help with school work, make dinner, do showers…the list goes on. So I disappeared from the world wide web. Buuuut, insert Slim Shady now because guess who’s back… (maybe, I still don’t know)
I’m really only here because lately I’ve had so many people ask me why or HOW I am not documenting this crazy ass time we are living in. But see above reasons. Working in healthcare during a pandemic will suck the life right the hell out of you. Oh, and then they up and canceled school, so in between sweating to death in N95’s & full face shields, I’ve been working on third grade fractions which as it turns out, I still suck at.
I’m fried. Like many of you. I mean, what the actual hell is going on in our world right now? I am so over it.
So here we are. Day 7,487 of quarantine and I am barely surviving. For real. These last few months have been extremely difficult. It’s like an episode of Pranked combined with being trapped on the world’s worst, never ending, roller coaster that has endless loops with the possibility of the track just ending, sending you flying off the track into the air only to eventually crash. And some days, that doesn’t sound all too bad of an idea.
My emotions are all over the place. I’m like a 14 year old girl going through an Emo phase. One minute I’m happy. The next I’m crying in the shower. Then it’s onto rage and anger mixed with a little bit of confusion and the possibility of uncontrollable (and occasionally) uncomfortable laughter…because if I don’t laugh, I’ll just cry again. Or yell.
Tensions are high in my house. We feel trapped at this point. My kids miss school and their friends. They don’t like me being their new teacher and frankly, I don’t like being their new teacher either. We all miss the normalcy.
There’s lots of arguing and yelling and crying. The girls are sick of each other. They are sick of us. And I try so damn hard to keep it altogether for them because I know they are so lost and out of their element. My heart really does break for them, but Jesus, they are driving me bat shit crazy. I mean, I love them, I really do but for the love of God, just ssshhhhh!!!
Life is a goddamn smorgasbord board of feelings. And it’s ok to admit it. As mom’s we take on a lot on a normal day but this…this shit is on another level. We went from their mama’s to their teachers. Our homes went from being their safe place to their school. And it’s not easy to navigate.
